new year's eve and some christmas craft

Dharma Book cover for K

New Year's Eve around the fire

Matryoshka for Salvador

one man band

Making that doll is an achievement! Many late nights, especially the sewing of the hair, but a pure joy every moment. As is the tradition with a Waldorf doll, I slept with him/her to further imbue it with my energy. Beau came into our bed on cue in the wee hours of the morn and I still had the doll close to my chest. When he awoke asking to see what Santa had left I said I had a gift for him first and I brought the doll to his chest at which point he went very quiet and held it to his chest. He said 'Is it a boy or a girl mummy?" to which I answered "which ever you decide" and he whispered 'a girl". I suggested he think of a name for her. Later on I asked again, what he thought she would be named and he said "Arya" which is the name of our friends' lovely daughter who Beau has spent some great time with of late. (Be still my heart). Tonight we put Arya in her Pj's and took her into bed and Beau said to me "Thank you for making her for me, I love her (got up on an elbow to kiss me purposefully). I've never had a special doll before"

sigh....perfect mother/child moment lingering long into the night.

Santa brought Beau a very funky 70's Malvern star dragster bike which has also been the recipient of many declarations of love throughout the day.
It was almost an entirely hand made Christmas which I have declared the bench mark from here on. Start early is the trick. The bright ideas come amidst the flurry of making.

I'll post some more pics tomorrow. In the meantime, Merry Christmas my friends, enjoy your families, food, time out, sun or snow. Be safe and happy! xxx

Felt frenzy

I love it. If I could make everything out of felt I would. It's so easy to work with and soft and colourful and I'm slightly obsessed with it at the moment. I made the needle pouch for practical reasons but also just as a fun quick thing to do. No big projects going on just yet though today I think today may be the day I actually start Beau's doll. I've been procrastinating for a while now and watch me as I continue to type on in this post, avoiding bringing the materials out of their hiding place.....

We bought a large $2 bargain fake Christmas tree at the local op shop. I had intended to go out into the bush and find the perfect branch that would be more authentic to our Australian Christmas, but there it was looking exactly like the one I grew up with, promising to endure Christmases from here into the next decade or more, and I was filled with sentimentality. Beau and I found old wooden decorations at the op shop too. I've considered the possible lameness of placing so much aesthetic importance on the Tree but really it's part of the magic. We can always do with more magic. Have it dripping from every nook and cranny when possible I say.

Beau and I cut snowflakes today and all the while I thought how very not Australian Christmas a snowflake is but how we just have to have them nonetheless. They were fun to make, and there is this great interactive site that shows you how.
We drove around unknown roads this evening just because. Hills shrouded in mist. Yesterday a phenomenal sunset....so beautiful out here I can hardly believe it. Starting to feel less like we're on holiday and more like residents.

Bit of Christmas crafting and a bit of letting go

Having trouble remembering to photograph the things I've been making of late. I made this Bird mobile for a friend's new bub, in a flash of last minute inspiration and thought only to take a photo in the car (hence attractive vinyl dashboard back drop).

Beau's advent calender is up and the Christmas Fairy nightly brings various small treats or instructions to which end this blog has been really helpful. Trying always to find the balance between getting and giving and to infuse Christmas with meaning. For me it is about family and birth, giving and gratitude and the most fantastic food we can put together. Christmas was magic for me as a kid, Mum went all out to make it so and the main thing for me, as much as I loved receiving presents, were the rituals that evolved for our family; the tree (which we had for 22 years), the way we decorated it, the old stories, the preparation of food,the wrapping and planning and the odd but good humoured family dynamic that was always played out every Christmas lunch - non of it particularly extraordinary but exciting none the less. And even though our family has never been the slightest bit religious, I absolutely loved the stories around baby Jesus born in a barn - the whole nativity thing; the wise men, that big star, arriving on a donkey, Frankincense and Myrrh (which I thought were exotic visitors for a good many years).

My family and I as a whole haven't spent Christmas together for at least 10 years, (probably more in K's case) which I find a little sad. Since mum died our family in general has been somewhat disconnected and which is why I think I'm probably more eager to create a strong sense of family and family rituals than I otherwise might have been. It seems that mothers are the ones who tend to keep extended family together and keep those family rituals alive. Nothing like Christmas to test how many familial expectations there are yet to let go of.

My friend Teresa and I have three gigs coming up, two this weekend and one the day after boxing day. The two this weekend are small but the first for us and for the first time in my life I am actually looking forward to performing. Could it be that my long time and crippling fear of singing in front of people is finally lifting? I do believe so. I think it has much to do with the practice of trying to stay present and therefore spending less time in thought about something that will happen in the future, and much to do with getting older and worrying less about what other people think. It could be, that having just turned 41, I may finally be learning something.

Zen and the Art of Sewing Machine Maintenance

I thought I needed a new sewing machine. For three years I have cursed the Toyota, "should stick to making cars"..etc etc and lots of swearing. I lent it to a friend, it came back missing the foot and has been in storage ever since.

I took it to Donvale to buy a new one/have it serviced/fixed/get a new foot....whatever it would take. Graham gave me a free foot and half an hour's teaching on the practice of presence and patience and correct sewing machine use. I was doing it ALL wrong. When I asked if I could pay him for his tutorial he said "No, I just feel that if people know how to use their machines properly then they will enjoy sewing. Then sewing will be a happy experience."

I took my Toyota home, put it on the table, set about to practice all that my master taught me, experienced the bliss he had promised and found myself humbly apologising to the machine for all the abuse I have so unnecessarily flung in its direction.

Feeling incredibly grateful for the work I get to do; painting cups and drinking tea with sweet Bridget, mama's work (this week especially the making of the advent calendar above ), rehearsing amazing Appalachian songs for 2 gigs in December, helping to organise child care for Rinpoche's retreats next year and then the more intense but but thankfully transformative work that k and I are having to put into our relationship at the moment. Diverse, flexible, creative and shared - text book Sagittarian heaven. I have managed to avoid full time employment pretty much all my adult life much to the chagrin of my family who have always regarded my alternative ways as somewhat worrying. There are times when I have doubted whether it is possible to live a truly simple life and provide a family with all basic needs, particularly early last year. For us, being out of the city definitely helps. I find myself less concerned about material things and more resourceful and content with the environment around me. I'm less concerned about my appearance (although if I had a mirror I may be more so)and what people think of me and my choices. The simplicity of our needs reflects in the work that we are choosing. I feel like we have the freedom to be much more ethically and creatively motivated. I know it's not everyone's idea of a comfortable existence; we certainly go without a great deal of comforts and convenience but I think we are more and more changing our idea of what those things are for us. I don't think we have all the answers and I don't judge anyone for the way they choose to live. I'm simply reflecting on this here life warts and all and it is good.