Wednesday, May 27, 2009

making my s..s..s..single bed...

Oh lordy, lordy, lost in the quagmire that is house hunting. Have been approved for one that we may well take, back in the city. I feel like all I do is move house. and for this reason I'm feeling the pressure for it to be a good decision. Not going to be wanting to move again for a long time. Too exhausting. Here's a bit of a run-down...

1)GOOOOD news! My brother and sister-in-law have at last had IVF success! HOORAY. Such a long and bumpy road for anyone. Their happiness is a blissfully welcome thing.

2)Been reading more and more on home schooling and feeling more and more inspired. My friend is in the process of choosing the right school for her wee ones, and finding it quite bewildering. At least her efforts will reap reward in the long run. But still an unenviable task. Who do you trust to look after you most precious ones for the greater part of the week?

3)Am getting used to being a Single Person slowly but surely, though the transition between those three days of just me, to then being intensively with Beau, is an interesting challenge. I feel distracted by each one at each change over. And then I think god is that what it's like for Beau? I imagine it gets easier, smoother somehow. Personally I am finding the time goes very fast. I am so grateful for both the time to myself, to play my guitar until late into the night, to belly dance in my room all day, to walk long walks and think my own thoughts; and then for the precious one on one time with my beautiful, perspicacious, affectionate, funny and sometimes very pissed off little boy. There is a great sadness and missing and even some guilt when he is not there and I am Doing My Thing. Am I allowed to be happy with the way things are? This is not what I thought Family Life was going to be like.I am doing an amount of grieving, a lot of rebuilding, heaps of rediscovering and a great deal of Letting Go. What I'm finding great joy in, is the morning preparation for Beau's afternoon return, by way of cleaning, cooking, making, labour of love, my Karmayoga. When he comes home there is evidence of the consistency of my love radiating through these things.

4) I LOVE belly dancing. Had I discovered American Tribal Style and Tribal Fusion 20 years ago that would have been it for me. I am also finding a strength in my singing voice that 30 years ago, when I began playing guitar, I wished for. It would appear, that at 41, through circumstances I tried hard to avoid, this late bloomer is finding her Mojo.

May yours be flooding towards you too if not already stealthily parading within.

Listening to Beats Antique, Martha Wainwright, Lykke Li, and the rain....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I say 'Amen' Soule Papa!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hi.It's been a while. I've been house hunting, playing my guitar with renewed fervor, belly dancing, meditating, loving Pink Lady apples, drinking lots of chai (with extra cardamon and cloves)having long night talks rugged up on the verandah of an evening, staying up far too late, and bush walking with my little guy and the furry four legged. And I have been quietly visiting all of you lovelies too xx

Listening to Bon Iver, Mark Olson and Gary Lewis, Noosha Fox (S.s.s single Bed, Single Bed, aint no room for your sweet head....)and Martin's new tin whistle solos.
And watching lots of this woman's work and dreaming.....
Rachel Brice tribal Fusion Belly Dance