Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Well still no batteries in my camera.......Too busy enjoying the photos of fellow bloggers....
Had a week that felt like groundhog day every day, but with parts that revealed the bliss within routine. I look forward to some time away ( one week before I leave), to get to know myself again, and come home refreshed and recharged.
Beau and I are going to try playgroup after a spell away due to the biting which seems to have stopped (dare I wiggle joyously in my seat?)
We have been riding around in the frosty winter air feeling good and more fit each week. As K says "Now I know why all those people on bikes ride around with grins on their faces!"

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Where's the View?

I really must recharge the batteries in the camera........
and learn to knit,
and mend my favourite silk shirt,
and clean up the skanky kitchen,
...........ahh yes.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Time is going so fast - I mean it seems to HURTLE. IS it just me? I'm sure it has to do with the routine of our week that is repeated over and over. Suddenly it's Monday again and I'm about to do that Monday thing and it seems as though I only just did that!
I think we really need a holiday. Not just time off from work. One of those holidays that 'other people' have -where they book ahead and go somewhere very different form home and have a break! Feel the need to rest and play with my family.

In a couple of weeks I am going away by myself! Good gods I can almost not believe it and at times I wonder if I should (that's how long it's been since I did anything by myself!!) Off to Perth for a friend's 40th and to see family and some friends I haven't seen for almost 20 years!!!! I am excited of course I am. Mostly about the amount of sleep I will be able to have! Six days is just long enough to feel as though I've had a break, but not too long that I will start pining for my boys (we'll see). I love going back to the west. I feel connected to the place. Even though I haven't lived there for 10 years , it's still home. A kind of home. Really home is inside of me. when I'm feeling present I am there. When I was traveling in Europe in the early 90's I would often yearn for the physical home and the familiar, but when I was really present and relaxed and secure I would sense that home within and felt at home anywhere. Because I have moved around so much I find it easy to start again in a new place and make new friends and find a niche for myself. It's been harder to stay still and this is the longest I have stayed in the one place since I was 19. These six years in Melbourne have been good learning. Both K and I have moved through a lot of stuff - issues together and alone, found a spiritual path that supports us individually and as a couple, we've made friends who are like family and we have become parents. We've made blundering financial decisions and crawled our way out and we look at our lives now though still trying to make ends meet, we are paying for our own house, and we are active in our community and we feel loved and we love and we see how happy our son is and we think we can't be doing all that bad!

Saturday was a big mulching day. Bliss. It was truly. I am happiest when the days are not packed with outings and we have materials at home to beautify and create and Beau joyously tootling along beside us with his wheel barrow. I love friends dropping in for tea which is happening more often as friends move closer.

K has been a little down. "Midlife Crisis" he suggested on the weekend. He needs to find a 9 to 5 job that doesn't bore him senseless. And yes I/we believe they do exist. I am so fortunate because I have a fantastic job working for and with good friends where we laugh all the time and have stimulating conversations and sell goods over which I have no ethical dilemmas. The customers are diverse and interesting and I can ride to work from home. It's not a career move but then motherhood has simplified everything for me. I know what I need to do right now and it's challenging and stimulating and rewarding and it's what I've wanted to do for so long. I'm considering what to do when we have school aged kids but I'm not concerned about it. It's harder for the men so often because they spend so much more time away from the family and the home and so they have (understandably) greater expectations of their working lives. Not than one role is easier than the other. We are working towards being able to work from home and eventually moving to the country. We are doing OK in the here and now. More than OK. Just need to find K something he can enjoy 5 days a week. I think it was Barry Humphreys who said he decided he wouldn't do anything unless it was lots of fun!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Beyond the Cave

We haven't left our cave for a few days. It's's cold out there, and without a car there is less temptation to just go out for the hell of it. It's been a weekend of people coming in - we had our first co op food distribution on Saturday with about 8 households coming through to pick up their share and stay for some food. There were kids running about and adults telling each other their stories, noise mess and other signs of joyous social productivity.K and I have long wanted a community like this around us. It makes life in the suburbs so much easier to tolerate, knowing that just down the road live people who think like we do and are working towards common goals. We are all in the process of creating homes that are sustainable and natural and toxin free and as self sufficient as possible. We seem to also share a commitment to conscious parenting. I'm amazed at what each household has managed to do in a short period of time on limited incomes, and our own achievements are in turn reflected back to us which is really helpful especially when one starts to moan about not having been able to do ANYTHING because of blah blah blah. The whole community thing confronts me enormously too. I know it's everything to do with the dysfunctions of early family life that I fear unrealistic expectations of large groups of people and have tended to get caught up in trying to please everyone which is utterly exhausting. But I want so much to have a sense of family and community that is supportive and authentic and able to weather all of our individual projections.
Since moving to Melbourne (from Byron Bay???!! the time I thought we'd gone mad!!!) I've really understood how it is possible to feel isolated in a big city. Over these 6 years we have met many wonderful people, some of whom have moved away. some closer, some friendships changed and still new ones forming. But we are all caught up in the daily task of survival and whilst probably by no means to the degree of the average working home owner/parent it's still a challenge to stand still long enough to connect with the world outside. It requires effort. K and I are trying not to pack our lives too full but still we seem to be busy???? Thank the gods for the days I spend with Beau in our little cave, drawing and singing and counting cars and people from the lounge room window, drinking tea with visitors and venturing no further than our own back garden.
Speaking of which, a friend was walking home from our house yesterday and saw a guy cutting and mulching pine trees. We now have a god-almighty pile of it in our driveway - big beautiful steaming pile of mulch for our muddy garden, plus next year's supply of fire wood! Thank you neighbour!!