Bare and achin' Bones

Such a perfect Melbourne Spring afternoon I should be out fluffing in the garden and I may well do so after I post this. I'm in post-osteopathic treatment la la land wherein some long abiding aches and pains are starting to ease away - quite lovely. My boys are sleeping - big one has flu, little one worn out after a lovely play with a sweet friend. I'm feeling somewhat blue as events of our life in the last year have come to a point where we may have to sell our little house and start afresh. There are two sides to this coin obviously. On the shiny happy side we will come away from this place debt free with the possibility of buying a little place in the country and simplifying our life style greatly. On the other side I am sad to think that what we have created here and what is possible here will end . When I put the words down, and read them back really the benefits far out way any losses but I guess it's just that sense of home and community that I finally am starting to feel here that I will miss even though I know us to be perfectly capable of establishing these things elsewhere. There's nothing like being on the verge of leaving something to make you realise how much you appreciate it! Somewhere in it all is the allure of the Australian Dream and when I go into that and really think about it I do sense a change for the better. We really have been struggling this year sometimes even for food and for what? To carve ourselves a piece of suburban life that is increasingly more challenging to sustain. The cost of living keeps increasing, as do interest rates and we all seem to be getting ourselves further into debt to keep up or looking down the barrel of working hours that completely wipe out any family-centred life.
I am staying open to the belief that anything can happen and that if we are prepared to do whatever is necessary and without fretting we will be present enough to see opportunities coming our way - maybe new jobs that allow us flexibility and pay us well and keep us fed creatively, support from places we never thought of, the perfect piece of advice, a block of land in the country that meets all our self-sufficiency requirements and the friends to retreat there with....Whether we stay here or go There it will be because all conditions were right.

But still I'm going to let myself be a little sad and go and sit out back and day dream about where we would put a chook run and a sand pit . And maybe eat that block of Black and Gold Mayan orange chocolate that I've been resisting because apparently sugar can revert a newly adjusted skeleton back to scrambled state. Maybe just one piece.....or two.