Matryoshkas

Martin and I spent a blissful morning sitting at the window (with Tom waits growling gloriously from the tape deck)painting these Matryoshka dolls (yes I did say 'tape deck') - for Isabella's birthday. I bought the blank shells from Babushkas in the city - they come in sets of 5 or 7. It's such a lovely thing to do - make them personal - something to keep for a life time. We didn't prime them with white paint initially but I will next time for ease of drawing and for the sake of using less paint. The doll behind the blank shells in the first photograph, was a parting gift when last I left work. Note 'last' left work...I'm thrice employed at the same establishment- so gorgeous are the folk there, customers included, so stimulating the conversation, so excellent the tunes, so free flowing the wit and so wholesome the produce, that I see no reason to seek employment elsewhere. I digress - but I should say that the Matryoshka gift came with a tailored poem so fine that if found it shall be posted.

The Thangka painting and the Matryoshka painting have the same attraction for me - Matryoshka dolls have only been around for about 100 hundred years - the act of making something that has deep historical/cultural/spiritual meaning. Though I haven't a direct cultural connection with either of them I feel connected on other levels and the process is leading me closer to an expression of my own. Which is what most of us are experiencing to varying degrees of progress aren't we ? (insert inspired comment here...)It's only time these days, standing in the way of more paintings. The time will come and meanwhile the visions are plentiful and the precious hours spent painting are sweet.

Feeling incredibly grateful for the work I get to do; painting cups and drinking tea with sweet Bridget, mama's work (this week especially the making of the advent calendar above ), rehearsing amazing Appalachian songs for 2 gigs in December, helping to organise child care for Rinpoche's retreats next year and then the more intense but but thankfully transformative work that k and I are having to put into our relationship at the moment. Diverse, flexible, creative and shared - text book Sagittarian heaven. I have managed to avoid full time employment pretty much all my adult life much to the chagrin of my family who have always regarded my alternative ways as somewhat worrying. There are times when I have doubted whether it is possible to live a truly simple life and provide a family with all basic needs, particularly early last year. For us, being out of the city definitely helps. I find myself less concerned about material things and more resourceful and content with the environment around me. I'm less concerned about my appearance (although if I had a mirror I may be more so)and what people think of me and my choices. The simplicity of our needs reflects in the work that we are choosing. I feel like we have the freedom to be much more ethically and creatively motivated. I know it's not everyone's idea of a comfortable existence; we certainly go without a great deal of comforts and convenience but I think we are more and more changing our idea of what those things are for us. I don't think we have all the answers and I don't judge anyone for the way they choose to live. I'm simply reflecting on this here life warts and all and it is good.

What the sky gave us #2

Yesterday afternoon, one of those 'blink and you'll miss it' moments. The brightest, clearest piece of rainbow.


Sock yarn from Suse finally untangled (took me two tangled skeins to work out that one should wind into ball first. Not real yarn smart..) Think I will try a size smaller needles. They is gonna be awful purdy.

And slow but sure progress on this painting; I now have two days a week to work, paint, have my own space...now that K is working from home. Found a warm sunny spot in the laundry to prop up the canvas and hang out with Tara. It's great to have the time though I really miss Beau. One day could almost be enough. But he gets to have those days with K which is bliss for them and I get to make head way in my work (and break to have coffee with the lovely Bridget, both of us sans children) so really everyone is happy. And that's what we hope for!

Blanket Stitch my world

The beautiful babe went to sleep early and so here I sit joyously, indulgently crafting the night away - making soft trees (see dodgey web cam photo above) thanks to Suse's lead, out of glorious felt, hand stitching and thinking about how many periods in my life I've found myself huddled in the light hand stitching something in a state of meditative bliss. Now with a renewed creative surge; four years ago when I recycled children's clothing and hand stitched felt motifs on everything; and ten years ago at art school when I hand stitched little tissue paper mache shellacked squares into cubes - 480 squares making 80 cubes (people thought I'd gone batty "It's Process Art man") . Each time I sit down with needle in hand I think about my grandmother who embroidered and crotched prolifically. I never knew her as she died when I was under two years old but I feel a connection to her in this way. I vaguely remember my mum swearing at her Singer so I guess the gene must have skipped a generation. Mum had her own thing going on flying light aircraft (THAT gene may well come back through my children, not me!)
So yeah soft trees, what a delight, for the nativity set growing on the mantle. I passed up K's corporate Christmas Do for a Night On the Felt. We have my Work Do tomorrow night and one a weekend is simply enough for me. Did I mention that I've resigned from my job and have but one more week of 4.30am starts and lifting boxes and standing on my feet but sadly simultaneously only one more week of hanging out with wonderful co workers/friends/employers and customers, good food, stimulating adult conversation (the lack of which could be my undoing!) and daily dose of belly laughing. Truly a fabulous job for so many reasons but so often has me exhausted and dreaming of more time with Beau and K and allowing room to reorganise our family routine to provide more time together in general. With neither mortgage nor debts (can I just say the latter one more time.'nor debts' ahh the sweetness of it) there is much potential in this change. We are regularly found drooling over country real estate these days, just to keep our sights on the ultimate goal.
Back to soft trees and Grant Lee Phillips (of Buffalo). Listening to his Nineteen Eighties Cover album which, if like me you were molded by that decade, will bring you much joy and perhaps even a sentimental tear. Great covers like Under The Milky Way Tonight, Love My Way, Boys Don't Cry, Wave of Mutilation and other gems.

Have a wonderful weekend y'all

A Picture

Yeah I know it's not very lady like but it shows two facts about me; 1) I absolutely love to feed my face and 2) I have a tendency towards the ridiculous whenever someone points a camera at me so in terms of self portraits it's really quite revealing. There's a hint of a fear of narcissism as I post these - and then I reflect upon the comfort of knowing something of other bloggers' lives and identities and how being a bit more transparent in life can be a beautiful thing.

The day of our wedding above. Dec 2003. One of my favourite wedding shots next to the one of K and I pulling 'sharkies' which I don't seem to have on my hard drive but will post it because it's very fetching.

So given that I have no new pictures to post, here are some 'old' ones. As I said I personally can't digest endless paragraphs of text (unless I'm reading a novel) without the relief of pictures to break it up, so these are for you if you a similar........

Mental note ; must ask K to show me how to get photos off my phone.

I must go to work. This is the time of day when the last thing I want to do is to go to work. What I want to do at 3.30pm is to have a cup of tea, eat some cake, enjoy Beau's scruffy , woozy emerging from dream land, and await K's arrival home and avoid venturing outside into the cold wind. (Love the cold, can't do wind). Just as well my job is not at all like a job but more like doing some chores with good friends.

Time is going so fast - I mean it seems to HURTLE. IS it just me? I'm sure it has to do with the routine of our week that is repeated over and over. Suddenly it's Monday again and I'm about to do that Monday thing and it seems as though I only just did that!
I think we really need a holiday. Not just time off from work. One of those holidays that 'other people' have -where they book ahead and go somewhere very different form home and have a break! Feel the need to rest and play with my family.

In a couple of weeks I am going away by myself! Good gods I can almost not believe it and at times I wonder if I should (that's how long it's been since I did anything by myself!!) Off to Perth for a friend's 40th and to see family and some friends I haven't seen for almost 20 years!!!! I am excited of course I am. Mostly about the amount of sleep I will be able to have! Six days is just long enough to feel as though I've had a break, but not too long that I will start pining for my boys (we'll see). I love going back to the west. I feel connected to the place. Even though I haven't lived there for 10 years , it's still home. A kind of home. Really home is inside of me. when I'm feeling present I am there. When I was traveling in Europe in the early 90's I would often yearn for the physical home and the familiar, but when I was really present and relaxed and secure I would sense that home within and felt at home anywhere. Because I have moved around so much I find it easy to start again in a new place and make new friends and find a niche for myself. It's been harder to stay still and this is the longest I have stayed in the one place since I was 19. These six years in Melbourne have been good learning. Both K and I have moved through a lot of stuff - issues together and alone, found a spiritual path that supports us individually and as a couple, we've made friends who are like family and we have become parents. We've made blundering financial decisions and crawled our way out and we look at our lives now though still trying to make ends meet, we are paying for our own house, and we are active in our community and we feel loved and we love and we see how happy our son is and we think we can't be doing all that bad!

Saturday was a big mulching day. Bliss. It was truly. I am happiest when the days are not packed with outings and we have materials at home to beautify and create and Beau joyously tootling along beside us with his wheel barrow. I love friends dropping in for tea which is happening more often as friends move closer.

K has been a little down. "Midlife Crisis" he suggested on the weekend. He needs to find a 9 to 5 job that doesn't bore him senseless. And yes I/we believe they do exist. I am so fortunate because I have a fantastic job working for and with good friends where we laugh all the time and have stimulating conversations and sell goods over which I have no ethical dilemmas. The customers are diverse and interesting and I can ride to work from home. It's not a career move but then motherhood has simplified everything for me. I know what I need to do right now and it's challenging and stimulating and rewarding and it's what I've wanted to do for so long. I'm considering what to do when we have school aged kids but I'm not concerned about it. It's harder for the men so often because they spend so much more time away from the family and the home and so they have (understandably) greater expectations of their working lives. Not than one role is easier than the other. We are working towards being able to work from home and eventually moving to the country. We are doing OK in the here and now. More than OK. Just need to find K something he can enjoy 5 days a week. I think it was Barry Humphreys who said he decided he wouldn't do anything unless it was lots of fun!