Sitting in our little studio feeling the sweetness of the cool wind and savouring the earlier sight of a roo jumping through the gully. Everything is seeming so much more precious out here and I am feeling immense gratitude and empathy. The tears are plentiful tonight - the first time I've really had to let the events of the last 6 days sink in, having heard neighbours' stories this morning, read more media, speaking to my aunt who luckily got out of Marysville but lost her home and many friends. There's a strong bond strengthening within the community which has me realise that although I've been here for 6 months I haven't fully entered it, for various reasons. Whilst considering moving back to the city where I might feel less isolated as a single parent, I am all of a sudden feeling more connected here to the land and the people. Contemplating the many ways in which I might be of some benefit whatever I ultimately decide. These are some of the links and places I've come across via blog friends and research.


Nillumbik Shire

Donate to or foster an animal through Animal Aid

Victorian Bushfire Public Accommodation Donation Line - 1800 006 468 (8am-8pm)

To utilise your craft skills;
Knit4charities
Handmade Help
Honey Bee stores are organising care bags to go out to children in bushfire affected areas.

Register to volunteer help at GoVolunteer

Shop at Coles, Safeway and Woolworths tomorrow (Friday 13th Feb) where 100% profit will go to Bushfire aid.

And so much more that Meet Me At Mikes has comprehensively listed on their fantastic blog

I hope I'm not coming across with too much self pity. There is definitely a thread of sadness that relates to K not being here to share the emotional load, and to seeing how Beau is carrying the events of the last month. But above that I can't articulate adequately, the depth of feeling I have for everyone and every being affected, that is connecting me to the grief and pain that is felt all the time in places that are usually removed from me geographically and personally. I know everyone is experiencing the same thing and that this grieving process is important. It's wonderful to read all your posts. You are a lovely bunch indeed.

Kings and Queens

We had these beautiful visitors yesterday and today, so tame, the King Parrot stayed a long while to eat sunflower seeds and pose for photos. Today he flew up to the window twice to get my attention. The echidna is still sitting in the garden with its nose snuffling for ants....I love it that these things are part of our day to day. And Henrik, it is with you most clearly in my mind that I post these pictures; some bits of Australia that I know you love so well! Enjoy my friend xx




Monday has become a very communal day for T and I and our boys. We usually spend the whole day together walking, talking, sharing chores, and preparing meals. I have earned the honourable title of 'Kitchen B****'to Kitchen Queen T. It's all about Superfood and chocolate and all things good and green from our local vege co-op. We think we should have our own TV show, baby in sling and all.....

Super 8 Date

Back to the country to visit L and M, where they set up the Super 8 projector so that we could watch the film of us all 35 years ago! Amazing. I'd forgotten how much hair Dad had, how groovy Mum's red flairs were, how small we once were, how wide and quiet our street, how 'Country Town' Perth truly was.....so many things in 10 minutes. Many memories for us all, a big history, many miles crossed to see each other over many years. A slight tinge of regret at burning my 30 odd diaries 9 years ago. I'd been keeping them since i was 13 and one night in Byron Bay I made a fire in the back yard of the house I was sitting, and burned them all one by one. At the time it felt like a very important shedding. Now and then though I think there have been times like that where I have been too hasty to 'liberate' certain objects from my possession. But you just never know how you will feel in the future, as a parent, with paths converging and vague memories surfacing , and the backdrop of that past about to become the present once more!

One day when all our things are in the one place again, out of boxes and in my hands, I will post some old photos.Perhaps you might like to post some of yours! I think there has been a Flashback Friday thang going on around the blogosphere.

Beyond the Cave

We haven't left our cave for a few days. It's gooooood...it's cold out there, and without a car there is less temptation to just go out for the hell of it. It's been a weekend of people coming in - we had our first co op food distribution on Saturday with about 8 households coming through to pick up their share and stay for some food. There were kids running about and adults telling each other their stories, noise mess and other signs of joyous social productivity.K and I have long wanted a community like this around us. It makes life in the suburbs so much easier to tolerate, knowing that just down the road live people who think like we do and are working towards common goals. We are all in the process of creating homes that are sustainable and natural and toxin free and as self sufficient as possible. We seem to also share a commitment to conscious parenting. I'm amazed at what each household has managed to do in a short period of time on limited incomes, and our own achievements are in turn reflected back to us which is really helpful especially when one starts to moan about not having been able to do ANYTHING because of blah blah blah. The whole community thing confronts me enormously too. I know it's everything to do with the dysfunctions of early family life that I fear unrealistic expectations of large groups of people and have tended to get caught up in trying to please everyone which is utterly exhausting. But I want so much to have a sense of family and community that is supportive and authentic and able to weather all of our individual projections.
Since moving to Melbourne (from Byron Bay???!!...at the time I thought we'd gone mad!!!) I've really understood how it is possible to feel isolated in a big city. Over these 6 years we have met many wonderful people, some of whom have moved away. some closer, some friendships changed and still new ones forming. But we are all caught up in the daily task of survival and whilst probably by no means to the degree of the average working home owner/parent it's still a challenge to stand still long enough to connect with the world outside. It requires effort. K and I are trying not to pack our lives too full but still we seem to be busy???? Thank the gods for the days I spend with Beau in our little cave, drawing and singing and counting cars and people from the lounge room window, drinking tea with visitors and venturing no further than our own back garden.
Speaking of which, a friend was walking home from our house yesterday and saw a guy cutting and mulching pine trees. We now have a god-almighty pile of it in our driveway - big beautiful steaming pile of mulch for our muddy garden, plus next year's supply of fire wood! Thank you neighbour!!

One of the reasons I have started this Blog, is because there seems to be a community growing among women who spend a great deal of time at home with their children and who are totally committed to motherhood as much as they are the other areas of their creativity. We can so easily feel isolated even though we are surrounded by people. I never feel lonely because Beau is fantastic company but we all need to share what's going on. I have some wonderful friends close by. We have also connected with like-minded people in our suburb, we get together once a month or so to share some food and check out each other's gardens/houses. We are all committed to living sustainably and interdependently and we are in the process of setting up an organic food co op. This makes city living so much richer for me and I look forward to extending the connection here and sharing ideas and information. I find it so inspiring to see what people are making, cooking, watching, reading.....in the midst of everyday life, in the things we do that add meaning and beauty.
I will share with you the painting I have been working on for far too long now. It is a painting of the Tibetan Buddhist Deity Green Tara and was to be part payment to one of our midwives for Beau's home birth and is now an embarrassing two years late!!!!!!
I am so very tired and must sleep before I launch into an epic post fueled by exhaustion and lack of direction and too much chocolate!