Tuesday, February 3, 2009

postcard from the edge

So the word on the street this morning was that it was 48 here yesterday; that domestic chickens and tree dwelling birds and marsupials were dropping dead in front of people's eyes....Driving to Warburton in the afternoon to find respite in the river revealed the town to be the only green place, in this part of the state anyway - so dry and drooping the land and trees from here to there to the city and back again.

Our little guy turned 4 yesterday Now officially 'a big boy' and wishing to do many things by himself. He received some money from his sweet grand folk and Aunt and Uncle, and declared that he would buy himself a train with a snow plough, which indeed he did today - the electric variety that goes around and around. He is currently asleep with two carriages in hand. And tonight, with the blessed breeze trying to find its way into our little shack, I bake - all things going to plan - a chocolate banana cake shaped like a train. Tomorrow promises to be cooler somewhat which means the little party can go ahead.

K and I are trying to find our way, through birthday and heat wave and sadness and confusion. It would be helpful to know how to do this separation thing; some kind of manual specifically tailored to us. A simple step by step guide to Moving into New Life with minimal impact on all concerned. Other than breathing deeply, and applying concentrated empathy, it seems we are destined to Make It Up As We Go Along and ride out these days where we feel we are making a right f*** up of it all. I go from not thinking about anything ,just laying about playing four year old games, to following a thousand thoughts about where to live, how to survive financially, will someone ever love and stick it out with me 'til I'm old and wrinkled, will earth crash into sun...etc etc, the former being much more relaxing and some of the latter inevitably requiring consideration. Right now I will contemplate this challenge - coloured icing made from kuzu powder, coconut cream, palm sugar and beetroot. Such is my love of the children and their parents, expressed in this attempt to avoid sugar and artificial additive meltdown. The pure cacao might well keep them awake for some time though. I selflessly licked the bowl to determine its potential affect.
May you and your animals be calm and happy, may your skin care products live to tend another day, may your gardens be revived and your homes be ventilated.

Tuesday....
After Beau's pool party we staggered back to Jen's place, happy and a little sunburned, for dinner. we went out to pick some very challenged but edible silver beet which survived the heat thanks to Jen's care - shaded in a way so very appropriate to Jen's character, in lace curtain - always gorgeous, never shabby.



And now so very sleep deprived and attempting to make good this Time On My Own. resisting the urge to clean...............yup, urge gone!

PS Kuzu icing a total flop, but the Agar Agar version set after some hours in the fridge. Looked a bit more like custard that icing but hey it would have been sweet and aesthetically pleasing. Didn't set in time for party so the train looked somewhat......rustic. A normal person would probably have stuck to the more volatile but dependable old icing sugar ,butter and food colouring variety, but i am apparently bent on being super mum during this challenging period. Somebody slap me!

2 comments:

Red Hen (dette) said...

I felt for you reading this I wonder about if I would even know love if I fell over it and I had to giggle as I read about your determination to do the right thing. Do you also have an adversion to dairy as cream cheese can make a reasonable alternative with a little honey or juice concentrate, still some suger but not too much and I have heard of soft tofu being used (I've never used the tofu myself. Give the big boy love from his snow tiger buddies!

Jo Windmill said...

Oh Kirti, I do love your funniness! Reminds me of my own forays into alternative children's party experimental gourmet, and the pre-party nervies they evoked! Aint it human to give oneself a mountain to climb whilst still crossing the canyon!
XX love to your big 4 year old!!
XXJo