This is our boy's interpretation of an eighties rock star......It's the fluffy 'glass' slippers that really do it for me. We've never encouraged Beau to wear dresses or not. We believe he should feel free to dress as he pleases and to have the least amount of conditioning possible so that hopefully he will grow up with a strong sense of self based on his own decisions. It's been really fun seeing how he loves to dress up and how his energy changes depending on what he's wearing/being. He started asking me for my dresses when he was about two, and one day in an op shop he asked if he could buy a particular skirt which he still wears. Some of his female friends have given or loaned him dresses on his request. It so happens that we are staying in the house of a woman and her daughter, and they have so generously left us toys and dress ups (as well as everything else in the house the angels), so that Beau has access to fairy frocks rather than Spiderman costumes at this point in time. I'm always on the look out for dress up material of any kind so that our kids will have a variety of identities to explore. Some of our parent acquaintances actually have difficulty with boys wearing dresses, telling their kids that boys don't wear pink and boys don't wear dresses. Once a male friend was really taken aback and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying a whole bunch of things. My first response was to ask what he thought would 'happen' to Beau if he wore dresses. And if the answer to that had been anything to do with encouraging or creating homosexual behaviour or confused identity, I was ready with 'I don't know what's worse, that you believe by wearing a dress a child will come confused about his sexuality, or that you believe there is something wrong with homosexuality'. I didn't enter into it on the assumption that he like all of us are a product of our own parental conditioning and some takes longer to shake off, some of it stays for the duration. Still, sometimes I think I live in a bubble and I still get a surprise when it's burst!?
I suppose the purpose of all this talk is to generate awareness in myself and others as to what we say and do to, and expect of our kids, and how much of that is unconscious. Every day it seems that parenthood challenges me to examine my opinions and my idea of reality and meaning and I'm so grateful because it helps me to be easier on myself. I long for the freedom that comes from awareness and real presence and I want that for Beau.
So there's my Frock on Friday post with Manifesto! Have a splendid weekend dear ether friends!
5 comments:
good on you. i was amazed when my little girl was v small how many people identified her as a boy if she was wearing anything other than pink. red and white stripes? cute little boy. anyway, op shops are a great source for dress ups (for everything really). do you know about Melbourne's collaborative op shopping blog 'I op therefore I am'
http://melb-opshopping.blogspot.com/
there are links there to maps and addresses of Melbourne's op shops. let me know if you are interested in joining.
regards, Amelia
Oh so familiar... I was quickly shunned in the local 'play group' when I let Bantam Boy attend in a lovely blue frock with white daisies all over it, and Chicky Babe was in 'tracky dacks' with holes in the knees! They are both the most well adjusted teens, we have a great relationship and I constantly get compliments on how delightful and grounded they are. I will look through our dress up box and see if we have any little stuff left- BB rarely wore anything but dress ups until he was about 10!- I do recall giving quite a bit away but I think I still have a hat or two stashed away!
hi Kirti,
aims @ crunch.
you guys are lovely lovely lovely
L loves make-up. (pity it has all manner of nasties.) a year ago he asked me which grown-ups wear make-up. so now he tells people he will be a clown when he is big.
amy.
Thats totally gorgeous.
I have always told my son that it would be fine if he were gay, and I would be happy and supportive of whatever he did in life. Friends were horrified at this, which I found funny.
On the other hand, when he came home and sheepishly told me he had made the Primary school Rugby league team , I had a minor breakdown.
*sigh*
My friend, a concert pianist, has a son with a thing for Barbies, but his daddy isn't too impressd. At least he chose tennis and not footy.
I love it that by posting something like this you find out that you are not in a bubble after all, or at least that there are like-minded bubbles to bump into..........(bloop)
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