Having trouble remembering to photograph the things I've been making of late. I made this Bird mobile for a friend's new bub, in a flash of last minute inspiration and thought only to take a photo in the car (hence attractive vinyl dashboard back drop).
Beau's advent calender is up and the Christmas Fairy nightly brings various small treats or instructions to which end this blog has been really helpful. Trying always to find the balance between getting and giving and to infuse Christmas with meaning. For me it is about family and birth, giving and gratitude and the most fantastic food we can put together. Christmas was magic for me as a kid, Mum went all out to make it so and the main thing for me, as much as I loved receiving presents, were the rituals that evolved for our family; the tree (which we had for 22 years), the way we decorated it, the old stories, the preparation of food,the wrapping and planning and the odd but good humoured family dynamic that was always played out every Christmas lunch - non of it particularly extraordinary but exciting none the less. And even though our family has never been the slightest bit religious, I absolutely loved the stories around baby Jesus born in a barn - the whole nativity thing; the wise men, that big star, arriving on a donkey, Frankincense and Myrrh (which I thought were exotic visitors for a good many years).
My family and I as a whole haven't spent Christmas together for at least 10 years, (probably more in K's case) which I find a little sad. Since mum died our family in general has been somewhat disconnected and which is why I think I'm probably more eager to create a strong sense of family and family rituals than I otherwise might have been. It seems that mothers are the ones who tend to keep extended family together and keep those family rituals alive. Nothing like Christmas to test how many familial expectations there are yet to let go of.
My friend Teresa and I have three gigs coming up, two this weekend and one the day after boxing day. The two this weekend are small but the first for us and for the first time in my life I am actually looking forward to performing. Could it be that my long time and crippling fear of singing in front of people is finally lifting? I do believe so. I think it has much to do with the practice of trying to stay present and therefore spending less time in thought about something that will happen in the future, and much to do with getting older and worrying less about what other people think. It could be, that having just turned 41, I may finally be learning something.
6 comments:
The birds are just beautiful.
I love your efforts to make christmas lovely: a timely reminder that I am a grump: i am sitting here plotting how we can all run away from christmas and go somewhere. It seems to have no meaning whatsoever, except that I have orders as to what to buy.
I used to make everything too. Now it all seems to involve spending unwanted amounts on unwanted things. I had a lovely time as a child, it seems different.
Do you sell the pretty birds? I would rather buy those and know someones hands lovingly made them.
There's on special memory I have of Christmas's as a child and that's the "big kids (that would be you and Gaz- our beloved older sister and brother)" comming in Christmas morning and us exchanging our gifts to each other.
Remember there's always an open door in Blair Street with lots of wonderful memories and family'er' voices. xxxxx
you are literally doing everything that you said you wanted to do.
i am so happy and filled with joy for you. you have a beautiful voice by the way!
those birds are truly a metaphor. you have found your wings and so you fly.
i think your Christmas traditions will be just as lovely as your own mama's.
love to you 3.
The birds are beautiful.
I made a concerted effort to create traditions for our family at Christmas, and this year the eldest teenager made vaguely sneery cynical noises and I wondered if the traditions would fade away due to lack of interest. But the youngest has been insistent that we continue, and I noticed that one evening when I didn't have the energy to drag us all to the light the candle and open the calendar window, it was the teenager who made sure we did.
I think I learnt something useful from that - about how even when you think they don't care any more, it's really all for show and they are in fact asking you to continue.
That wasn't very coherent. I need to go to bed obviously. But I hope you get what I was trying to say. Traditions are wonderful things, and they will evolve into what's right for your family. And the family will ensure their continuation.
I love your little birdies! I'm busily working on crocheted hearts for our tree feeling much more like celebrating now that I know Bantam Boy is fine! Christmas always throws up feelings of aloneness and failure for me, failure of not giving my children a happy complete family- which most of the time I know is complete rubbish that they are loved and whole but I tend to get the holiday blues. It was much better when they were little and I could throw myself into creating the magic for them.
Hope you enjoy your performances, I'm sure everyone else will.
I love these birds!
so beautiful and full of personality!
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