Matryoshkas

Martin and I spent a blissful morning sitting at the window (with Tom waits growling gloriously from the tape deck)painting these Matryoshka dolls (yes I did say 'tape deck') - for Isabella's birthday. I bought the blank shells from Babushkas in the city - they come in sets of 5 or 7. It's such a lovely thing to do - make them personal - something to keep for a life time. We didn't prime them with white paint initially but I will next time for ease of drawing and for the sake of using less paint. The doll behind the blank shells in the first photograph, was a parting gift when last I left work. Note 'last' left work...I'm thrice employed at the same establishment- so gorgeous are the folk there, customers included, so stimulating the conversation, so excellent the tunes, so free flowing the wit and so wholesome the produce, that I see no reason to seek employment elsewhere. I digress - but I should say that the Matryoshka gift came with a tailored poem so fine that if found it shall be posted.

The Thangka painting and the Matryoshka painting have the same attraction for me - Matryoshka dolls have only been around for about 100 hundred years - the act of making something that has deep historical/cultural/spiritual meaning. Though I haven't a direct cultural connection with either of them I feel connected on other levels and the process is leading me closer to an expression of my own. Which is what most of us are experiencing to varying degrees of progress aren't we ? (insert inspired comment here...)It's only time these days, standing in the way of more paintings. The time will come and meanwhile the visions are plentiful and the precious hours spent painting are sweet.

Beau and I cut snowflakes today and all the while I thought how very not Australian Christmas a snowflake is but how we just have to have them nonetheless. They were fun to make, and there is this great interactive site that shows you how.
We drove around unknown roads this evening just because. Hills shrouded in mist. Yesterday a phenomenal sunset....so beautiful out here I can hardly believe it. Starting to feel less like we're on holiday and more like residents.

Bit of Christmas crafting and a bit of letting go

Having trouble remembering to photograph the things I've been making of late. I made this Bird mobile for a friend's new bub, in a flash of last minute inspiration and thought only to take a photo in the car (hence attractive vinyl dashboard back drop).

Beau's advent calender is up and the Christmas Fairy nightly brings various small treats or instructions to which end this blog has been really helpful. Trying always to find the balance between getting and giving and to infuse Christmas with meaning. For me it is about family and birth, giving and gratitude and the most fantastic food we can put together. Christmas was magic for me as a kid, Mum went all out to make it so and the main thing for me, as much as I loved receiving presents, were the rituals that evolved for our family; the tree (which we had for 22 years), the way we decorated it, the old stories, the preparation of food,the wrapping and planning and the odd but good humoured family dynamic that was always played out every Christmas lunch - non of it particularly extraordinary but exciting none the less. And even though our family has never been the slightest bit religious, I absolutely loved the stories around baby Jesus born in a barn - the whole nativity thing; the wise men, that big star, arriving on a donkey, Frankincense and Myrrh (which I thought were exotic visitors for a good many years).

My family and I as a whole haven't spent Christmas together for at least 10 years, (probably more in K's case) which I find a little sad. Since mum died our family in general has been somewhat disconnected and which is why I think I'm probably more eager to create a strong sense of family and family rituals than I otherwise might have been. It seems that mothers are the ones who tend to keep extended family together and keep those family rituals alive. Nothing like Christmas to test how many familial expectations there are yet to let go of.

My friend Teresa and I have three gigs coming up, two this weekend and one the day after boxing day. The two this weekend are small but the first for us and for the first time in my life I am actually looking forward to performing. Could it be that my long time and crippling fear of singing in front of people is finally lifting? I do believe so. I think it has much to do with the practice of trying to stay present and therefore spending less time in thought about something that will happen in the future, and much to do with getting older and worrying less about what other people think. It could be, that having just turned 41, I may finally be learning something.

That shop

I have just been in here for the first time. I've bought on line many times but nothing better than being in there with all the colours and soft wool - I was in there for ages. Heaven.

I found the book at an op shop on the way. Good old 'Golden Hands'.

makin' and bakin'

And yay verily the bread was good and the people ate of it and were glad. It's REAL good.

Some Christmas crafting has begun and as often happens when I sit down to hand stitch something, my thoughts turned to my Nanna who died when I was three - consequently I have no memory of her save photos and her beautiful wooden sewing box which still contains some of her tools. She crocheted lace doilies and embroidered a multitude of domestic cloths and knitted the pram rug that became my dearly beloved security blanket. at one time I was also in possession of her antique Singer sewing machine and many other gorgeous pieces of jewelry and crockery, her wood glory box (which I still have) and her old German piano. All I can say is, that if the urge to run completely feral across the country over comes you, resist the urge to give away/sell such precious items and consider future selves and generations. I sadly mourn these things despite the logic of having had nowhere to keep them until the wanderlust subsided.

The sewing box is therefore every dear to me and I humbly imagine that a little of Nan has come back through me!

birthday crown

Stayed up joyously last night to stitch together this little crown for Taj's third birthday. It really needs interfacing between the two layers of felt, but fits well and has a tricky bit at the back where the band continues and extends when the elastic stretches.

Tahli performed miracles with sugar free and gluten free ingredients - a feast that left no child out of its head (where's the fun in that?). Just the usual afternoon exhaustion and record number of jumps on the new trampoline.

small things for wee people

we've all been making one thing or another this week, some things finished, some in progress. I love seeing Beau out there with his Dad and some tools, carving and drilling and sanding. I love seeing K finally having the time to get his teeth stuck into a creative project. The first one was a gift that he and Beau conceived and made together for C's 4th birthday, this wonderful sword. Beau has been fascinated with swords lately and I remembered reading in a Steiner Book that at this age children will find great strength and courage in the story of St George and the Dragon, where of course George rescues the princess from the dragon with his mighty sword. Fortunately no dragons have yet been harmed since the making of this sword (nor have any small people who seemed somehow to understand the symbolism with which the gift was bequeathed).

The knitting of a little vest for the wee neighbour is coming along after many unravellings. It is my first attempt at decreasing, shaping, sewing together...very exciting and I feel like the knitting world will be my oyster thereafter.



... speaking of little things for wee people, I found this beautiful dress in a local op shop whilst trawling for dress ups. It's so fine and delicate that I can't imagine who might wear it (a doll perhaps).



...and Beau and I made a fairy house today at the bottom of the garden which seemed the obvious place. It has a view over the trees, open fire and a hand knitted blanket. Available for weekend stay with optional breakfast. Sorry no pets.

an experiment

Last night I finally finished the scarf I knitted for my sister-in-law. I had the idea that I wanted to dry felt onto it as a bit of an experiment and I'm really happy with the result. Dry felting is so easy, and a bit like painting with wool. The test will be in the washing, to see if it shrinks and pulls the scarf in . I think cold water should keep it in shape. Anyone tried this? Any shrinkage?


The wool is particularly soft and perfect for a scarf. I bought it from a Steiner stall at Ceres Slow Day, and it's the same wool you can buy at Steiner stores. They always have beautiful bright colours. I'm looking forward to making myself a beret and dry felting that too.

guys and dolls

my guy is on his last night in India possibly still in a giardia (spelling?) spin. Some bad noodles. A blessing really to not have been ill until this far. But still...not nice. Poor darlin'.



I am about to make some kind of step towards making the Steiner Doll for Beau that I have long had the materials for. Even if that step be only to read the book. My intention is that at least by the time he has a sibling (should circumstances lead fortuitously to such an outcome) there will be a little effigy for him to care for himself. My friend told me that it is good to sleep with the doll (as the mother and maker) prior to giving, in order to infuse it with one's smell and energy. How lovely.

The wind is wild. We walked out into it today to have some sun and it blew us home again to dress up and make osso bucco.

Gentle Landing

We went to the Aquarium today (first time for me). All very cool with sharks and rays swimming overhead but so noisy I couldn't wait to get out of there. Would be amazing to be there with the emulated silence of the under world. I guess we'd have to gag and bind our children so perhaps instead I'll where ear plugs next time. Here is my favourite fish of the day. Nature has a wonderful sense of humour.

Thank the goddess for supportive friends, mild weather, perfect timing and the dear, welcoming friend into whose house we have gently landed at last. We have moved into this fully furnished house - a place that just instantly feels like home, as if the things in it we have always had around us. M's energy and aesthetic resonates with our own so there has been little to do other than fill cupboards and fridge and clear away boxes. I am completely exhausted and I love it here. The boys reflect the same sentiment. Beau has ridden the move smoothly and even prefers to sleep in his new bed. K still one armed but taking care of all our technological needs as only he can. The photos will show how lovely it truly is. I feel like this is a place to spend half a year recovering and creating and visioning, and just enjoying. Good to be back in the old familiar 'hood.


Watched 'I'm Your Man' (Leonard Cohen Documentary) again last night. Yet again I feel the wave of inspiration that hit me during the first viewing. Leonard himself in all his profound wisdom, dignity and poetry as well as the performers who covered his songs at the Opera House. I have played my guitar more since I first watched the DVD a month or so ago, then I have in years and my oh my it feels GOOD. I have to say also that the Irish film 'Once' has had the same affect on me. Music music music.

I have craft books on their way from Winterwood and a lovely spot in which to make manifest their contents.

Oh and it's official. We are now debt free. (deep sigh of relief) All is well.

Big Night On The Felt

Christmas tree birdie
a partridge and pear, no tree
nativity
sheep (my favourite!). Dry felting is my new chocolate.

trees
I am so excited to have a camera. Almost a whole year has gone by without photo documentation. Beau is in for some In Yer Face camera action. And here are some very nice photos of the Christmas goodies I've been making into the wee hours of each morning. So much fun but Oh so sleep deprived. NEVER tackle overwhelming, overstimulating department stores whilst sleep deprived and hungry. I had a hypoglycemic meltdown until I inhaled three Nori rolls.

And here I am blogging when I should be taking the opportunity for a nap. These days it's a choice between crafting and sleeping.

Ooh and I bought knitting needles yesterday. See, working was just getting in the way of all this creativity.

Kevin Rudd eh. He ratifies the Kyoto Protocol (just, what, minutes after being instated??) and asks the US to do the same; he promises to say Sorry; he's already been to Iraq and back and promises to bring the lads home by June; he pledges to protect the Whales; prioritises climate change.....If he keeps up like this then he really is my Dream Prime Minister.

A safe and happy Christmas to you all xxx

Mystery

Self portrait with Camel. Playing around with the Web cam to see if I can get a decent photo. Apparently not! I managed to nut out a pattern for the camel on my own, but have ordered a book so that I can make animals that do not resemble failed genetic experiments. Not too bad though and such is the way I work. I'm a little impatient when it comes to instructions and tend to have a crack at it alone. A few failed attempts usually lead to success (with some colourful language issued along the way and threats to terminate the lives of the tools involved). I am now however trying something new. Due to time restraints I am all for the blessed instructions put forth by those who have gone before us.

How my title photo squeezed itself into the title frame is a great mystery. Is someone logging into my blog and performing random acts of neatness?? Or do such things simply correct themselves over time? I WAS quite fond of the enormity of the tulip view!

I was going to do the 7 things about me meme after reading Soozs last post, and then I got carried away so to anyone who cares to read a long list of facts about me, go for it. It's mainly just to entertain myself at 1.35am (too many cups of tea).

1. I never forget to eat. Some people say 'I was so busy/tired/excited/depressed/broke/sick today I didn't eat'. I find this difficult to understand. Only in the midst of acute Gastro would I not think about or take measures to acquire my next meal/snack.

2. I speak Danish. I have a Danish name. I am not Danish.However I was married to a lovely Danish man when I was 25 and lived in Danmark at the time so I almost passed, except that now and then I would innocently use a word that was completely out of context and I was often thought to be a little odd by strangers. Therefore...

3. I am very patient with non English speaking people who so bravely attempt our difficult language (Danish very simple by comparison in my opinion).

4. I have lived in 31 different houses, in 6 different towns, in 3 different states, in 3 different countries in the last 29 years. I am now very eager to STOP MOVING and become a jam making, routine loving, family focused and firmly planted farmer's wife. (which means K will have to become a farmer because I am NOT getting married yet another time).

5. I am petrified of singing in public, especially my own songs, but when given the opportunity to public speak something else happens and I secretly (not any more) desire to be a stand up comedian, MC or chat show host...who is ...also a farmer's wife....

6. Despite being apparently restless and impulsive by nature, the requirements of motherhood to provide some level of consistency, responsibility, stability and clear guidance actually occur for me as a joy and a great relief. I do believe I may well have turned out to be rather more self indulgent were it not for Beau's grounding presence. This probably due to having Sun in Sagittarius and a Capricorn ascendant which on a good day can be great, and on another day be bloody confusing.

7. I have a very bad sense of smell. . I once stood in a kitchen with smoke spewing from a toaster and didn't noticed until I hung up and turned around. But strangely I will get a strong and real whiff of something when no one else around me can smell a thing.

8.Before Beau was born I used to swear too much. Especially the F word. I think it's lazy to swear so much. F*** it.

9. I birthed Beau at home in the water. He weighed 11lbs (5kg) at birth. As our second midwife arrived just before second stage, she announced that the baby she had just helped delivered at another home was 12 pounds. I;m glad she told me before we saw the size of Beau's head so that I could compare the task smaller to something! It was a wonderful birth, I loved every minute of it and I'll do it again.

10. I have an excellent memory. If I can see it or put a rhythm to it I can remember it. I have been useful in life as a walking telephone book/ diary/ jukebox.

11. I'm not a City Person. I am a Country Person living in the Suburbs, looking for the farm.

12. I love and feel deeply inspired by the Zen saying " Burn up like a good bonfire, everything you say or do, leave no trace'. It always takes my mind on an amazing journey and then to somewhere very still .

13. Despite how it often seems I am not that comfortable talking about myself . It seems to contradict the above wisdom, however I really love to hear about other people's lives and I do like to tell a story

14. So then I know that the burning up is about not carrying baggage from one moment to another and about coming to everything completely fresh; memories; daily chores; our loved ones; ourselves; everything.

Even the morning after only 5 hours sleep.

Blanket Stitch my world

The beautiful babe went to sleep early and so here I sit joyously, indulgently crafting the night away - making soft trees (see dodgey web cam photo above) thanks to Suse's lead, out of glorious felt, hand stitching and thinking about how many periods in my life I've found myself huddled in the light hand stitching something in a state of meditative bliss. Now with a renewed creative surge; four years ago when I recycled children's clothing and hand stitched felt motifs on everything; and ten years ago at art school when I hand stitched little tissue paper mache shellacked squares into cubes - 480 squares making 80 cubes (people thought I'd gone batty "It's Process Art man") . Each time I sit down with needle in hand I think about my grandmother who embroidered and crotched prolifically. I never knew her as she died when I was under two years old but I feel a connection to her in this way. I vaguely remember my mum swearing at her Singer so I guess the gene must have skipped a generation. Mum had her own thing going on flying light aircraft (THAT gene may well come back through my children, not me!)
So yeah soft trees, what a delight, for the nativity set growing on the mantle. I passed up K's corporate Christmas Do for a Night On the Felt. We have my Work Do tomorrow night and one a weekend is simply enough for me. Did I mention that I've resigned from my job and have but one more week of 4.30am starts and lifting boxes and standing on my feet but sadly simultaneously only one more week of hanging out with wonderful co workers/friends/employers and customers, good food, stimulating adult conversation (the lack of which could be my undoing!) and daily dose of belly laughing. Truly a fabulous job for so many reasons but so often has me exhausted and dreaming of more time with Beau and K and allowing room to reorganise our family routine to provide more time together in general. With neither mortgage nor debts (can I just say the latter one more time.'nor debts' ahh the sweetness of it) there is much potential in this change. We are regularly found drooling over country real estate these days, just to keep our sights on the ultimate goal.
Back to soft trees and Grant Lee Phillips (of Buffalo). Listening to his Nineteen Eighties Cover album which, if like me you were molded by that decade, will bring you much joy and perhaps even a sentimental tear. Great covers like Under The Milky Way Tonight, Love My Way, Boys Don't Cry, Wave of Mutilation and other gems.

Have a wonderful weekend y'all

Felt friends needed!

I say can anyone help me? I'm wanting to make stuffed felt animals for a little nativity set for Beau, a camel, a donkey, a sheep, and anything else that might be applicable. Do any of you have patterns you'd like to share? I'm going to try to make a template tonight but I'd love a head start! Last year I made felt stars and birds for the tree which are simple and cute and I can post the patterns for those should anyone wish!

Check out this great site for making snowflakes. I know they're not exactly Australiana Christmas but they are wonderful nonetheless and don't we all deep down dream of a White Christmas?

My 40th was really fun, not a grand event but spent with good friends, good food and later in the evening good music. We had a sumptuous breakfast at home and in the evening a few of us went dancing. It has been a very long time since any of us went dancing. It was FUN! Everything still works and I awoke the next morning with the lightness of heart and relaxed body that I remember from my dancing days of youth. Even my seemingly unfixable rib has come good from a good dose of hip shaking and arm flinging (well it's not as much fun if you don't dance like a fool!).

Yesterday I gave notice at work. I stood by the phone for some time unsure of my decision because truly it's a fantastic job with fantastic people and I will miss seeing them three times a week. However I feel like I've done such a good thing for myself. this change that is upon us is way over due and with me not working we free up time and space to have more family time and more sleep and the possibility of K finding a new job. He has hung in there for a year at least now much to his credit, and now it's time to move on to something stimulating, better paid and closer to home. He's an amazing man K, who has wisdom and skills that even on a small scale are helping and inspiring people. He finds it hard to know exactly where or how to focus them and I hope he finds what is closest to his heart. I look forward to putting more time into Beau and our shared creativity, and to choir - I want to arrange songs and maybe even write one. And of course there is the second baby who is fluttering in the ethers around my ears whispering 'Mummy mummy, come ON' .

New Year's Resolutions

Never was big on making NYR's but find myself thinking about all the things I'd like to do/change seeing as CHANGE is the catch word around here at the moment. May as well get a head start....let's see, I'd like to

1. take up Spanish again (so I can indulge in Almodovar without having to squint at the subtitles)
   
2. clear out my wardrobe and wear only frocks
   
3. make a doll for Beau
   
4. do yoga
   
5. kiss my husband more often
6. knit
   
7. finish Tara
8. more craft with Beau
9. Go to the cinema (haven't been for 3 years!!!! Aaaaaghhhhhh)
10. take lots and lots of photos
11. visit Rinpoche in Tuscany
12. have another baby (which highlights the need to make the most of 9. and prioritise 5. be VERY open minded about 2. and kiss 1. 7. and 11. goodbye for another 3 years if they haven't been accomplised by this point..)
    

A further word on frocks. I love frocks. I would wear them exclusively if I had the time and funds to seek them out (and glory be I may well have both come the new year!). Note to self and to anyone who cares to join me - Frock on Friday posts....an excuse to Screen (as opposed to Window) Shop if nothing else.....my frocks, other people's frocks, designer frocks, old frocks and new.....
I also love the designs by Pelle - find them at mioke. Scroll down and select sewing then scroll up and select pelle.
We used to have Frock on Fridays back in the Feral late 90's (feral for me anyway, I can't speak for you) - everyone joined in, even my dog now and then. My taste in frocks has changed since then. Now my frocks need to be clean and in tact but I've always loved a vintage frock especially the 50's and 70's variety.

Until Friday then....

Wild without and calm within

What a wild day. Wild wind. Rain. Love having an excuse to stay inside all day. Beau sleeps as does the child of a friend who is with us today. A peaceful spell to be with myself and eat the chocolate I hid this morning. I'm going to make Beau a doll - a Steiner Doll for which I have instructions. It occurred to me how quickly gender differentiation's starts - how Beau has ended up with so many trucks and cars and animals and no dolls. All the daughters of my friends have had dolls for a long time. I would love to see Beau connect with a doll and have a sense of that caring nature that girls are encouraged to have in their play from so early on. A friend who runs a Steiner Playgroup says that a doll is also special for a child because when the parent is absent the child cares for the doll and in turn feels the parent's nurture through the doll. I thought this was a great explanation;

"A waldorf dollmaker breathes life into each creation by slowly and lovingly sewing a body for its spirit to come into. These dolls are not just stitched together; they are 'born'. Something of the maker's own self goes into each individual doll; therefore it would be ideal for parents to make all their own children's dolls and toys. The next best thing is to have a doll custom-made for a particular child, and for the dollmaker to endow that doll as much as possible with the personality and colouring of the child.

Seeing that the doll is the child's 'alter ego', through which he or she can express his/her deepest feelings, they are not only for girls, but for boys too! I have made many dolls for little boys whose mothers tell me, years later, that their son still plays with that doll and that it is his favourite toy."

Victoria Robertson, Waldorf Doll maker Dunsborough WA

We've been having one of those weeks where everything is going so smoothly - Beau is happy and relaxed and easy going.....and I say it's all due to routine, to the blissfully predictable rhythm of a day and week that a 2 and a bit year old can count on. Our days are more relaxed, more productive, more creative and filled with much more laughter when we follow the rhythms that support our otherwise busy life. The changes that come with having no car are varied and while we often aren't home as early, being car-less has forced us to take our time, be more organised when we need to go out and do things and to just let it all go when it looks like we've missed a bus or the weather is too wild or we are too tired to ride. It has made me realise how much we would normally try to pack into a day/ a week and how much harder it is on Beau to be bustled out of the house and into the car and driven around on errands. He is truly so much happier when he gets to spend most of his time at home (still with visits to the park and friends) and so for that matter am I! There's more time for drawing and singing songs and dancing and looking out the window at the world going by. Being a mother is of course the most enormous and challenging commitment I've ever undertaken but it's taught me so much about relaxing and letting go which is very fortunate considering there is little time for formal meditation practice. One of the main principals of Dzogchen practice is to not separate practice from daily life - that it is daily life. Recognising and integrating our natural state of pure presence and awareness amidst the chaos of our daily lives is real enlightenment. I have kept this perfect quote from Dilgo Kyentse Rinpoche for a long time :

"The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes into oneself.

This produces a tremendous energy which usually is locked up in the process of mental evasion and a general running away from life experiences.

Clarity of awareness may, in its initial stages, be unpleasant or fear-inspiring; if so, then one should open oneself completely to the pain or the fear and welcome it. In this way the barriers created by one's own habitual emotional reactions and prejudices are broken down.....

......The everyday practice is just ordinary is life itself. Since the underdeveloped state does not exist there is no need to behave in any special way or try to attain or practice anything.

There should be no need of striving to reach some exalted goal or higher state; this simply produces something conditional or artificial that will act as an obstruction to the free flow of the mind. One should never think of oneself as "sinful" or worthless, but as naturally pure and perfect, lacking nothing."

It's the same message for me within Skeleton Woman story. It's so perfectly simple and yet utterly challenging all at the same time!!!! But NEVER boring!