Return of Chucky

After months of being able to relax with Beau in the presence of other children, all of a sudden the behaviour that had been so challenging for a year and a half has made a come back, which leaves us somewhat bewildered and also quite sad. It may be short lived but it's awful to see your beloved child launch an unprovoked attack on another child's face. Two days running Beau has walked up to a child (the same one actually) and grabbed her by the face leaving a little graze. And he went straight back for another go after being calmly but firmly told how unacceptable it was . We have always gone by the observation that at such times he needs to calm down and that he is well and truly over play time. Beau is actually a very relaxed little guy and can play for hours on his own with great focus. He is prone lately to neediness especially around me and often seems to find visitors and groups of people and kids really unsettling. The last few months have shown his very social side and he has really enjoyed the company of other kids. K and I have been checking in with each other as to what might be going on with us that might have Beau act out again in this way. But when we think about all the kids we know/families we know and all their varied circumstances there are no real consistencies that would explain it. It's very easy to over intellectualise our kids' behaviour I think, given that we are adults and naturally our first tendency is to think from an adult point of view. Often we look at Beau and marvel at how he and children in general just do and say whatever comes to mind, they are that pure and spontaneous and emotional. I guess Beau just has this particular energy that we will have to guide him through and help him find ways to manage it so that he can play alongside other kids. And I guess he will grow out of it. It definitely helps that he can verbally express himself well now and that he understands our simple explanations. It may just take a while for him to learn to control himself and I mean really a three year old can't be expected to do that when half the adults of this world can't control themselves either. Ah dear. Just thrashing it all out here and hoping some of you might have had similar experiences. Always good to hear we are not alone.
I must also say more importantly that Beau is particularly cute and funny and loving and musical and just generally all round fabulous to be with these days. Isn't it just the most miraculous moment when you realise you are having a conversation with your wee one - a little insight into their amazing minds.

Frock on Friday

Every girl needs a black dress but sometimes I feel like I'm in mourning. I think this would do the trick.
I know it's not a dress but I love it and it's the closest thing to a Bikini you would ever get me into! I'd even go the sandals at the pool!
Love polka dots.

Never been big on yellow but this is cute.
Yellow again! Love it with all that lace! I would wear it to a dimly lit jazz bar and slink my way on stage for a standard or two.

Here
is where I found these treasures, so much vintage goodness in this world.

I'm on the hunt for a frock this weekend. 'Tis the time to Frock-on, Christmas Do's and all coming up. I hope you are all enjoying frocking up for the season, even if it's just to decorate the tree.

Felt friends needed!

I say can anyone help me? I'm wanting to make stuffed felt animals for a little nativity set for Beau, a camel, a donkey, a sheep, and anything else that might be applicable. Do any of you have patterns you'd like to share? I'm going to try to make a template tonight but I'd love a head start! Last year I made felt stars and birds for the tree which are simple and cute and I can post the patterns for those should anyone wish!

Check out this great site for making snowflakes. I know they're not exactly Australiana Christmas but they are wonderful nonetheless and don't we all deep down dream of a White Christmas?

My 40th was really fun, not a grand event but spent with good friends, good food and later in the evening good music. We had a sumptuous breakfast at home and in the evening a few of us went dancing. It has been a very long time since any of us went dancing. It was FUN! Everything still works and I awoke the next morning with the lightness of heart and relaxed body that I remember from my dancing days of youth. Even my seemingly unfixable rib has come good from a good dose of hip shaking and arm flinging (well it's not as much fun if you don't dance like a fool!).

Yesterday I gave notice at work. I stood by the phone for some time unsure of my decision because truly it's a fantastic job with fantastic people and I will miss seeing them three times a week. However I feel like I've done such a good thing for myself. this change that is upon us is way over due and with me not working we free up time and space to have more family time and more sleep and the possibility of K finding a new job. He has hung in there for a year at least now much to his credit, and now it's time to move on to something stimulating, better paid and closer to home. He's an amazing man K, who has wisdom and skills that even on a small scale are helping and inspiring people. He finds it hard to know exactly where or how to focus them and I hope he finds what is closest to his heart. I look forward to putting more time into Beau and our shared creativity, and to choir - I want to arrange songs and maybe even write one. And of course there is the second baby who is fluttering in the ethers around my ears whispering 'Mummy mummy, come ON' .

Frock on Friday

50's Gucci print dress
50's Malcolm Star dress (almost Doris Day depending on how far one unbuttons...)
60's blue green cocktail dress
70's I'll-Just-Slip-Into-Something-More-Comfortable-Norma Kamali Dress

All this frock glory from poshgirlvintage
They make me wanna sew.
Oh bugger it they make me wish I had a big fat credit card.

40 tomorrow! See you on the Other Side.

New Year's Resolutions

Never was big on making NYR's but find myself thinking about all the things I'd like to do/change seeing as CHANGE is the catch word around here at the moment. May as well get a head start....let's see, I'd like to

1. take up Spanish again (so I can indulge in Almodovar without having to squint at the subtitles)
   
2. clear out my wardrobe and wear only frocks
   
3. make a doll for Beau
   
4. do yoga
   
5. kiss my husband more often
6. knit
   
7. finish Tara
8. more craft with Beau
9. Go to the cinema (haven't been for 3 years!!!! Aaaaaghhhhhh)
10. take lots and lots of photos
11. visit Rinpoche in Tuscany
12. have another baby (which highlights the need to make the most of 9. and prioritise 5. be VERY open minded about 2. and kiss 1. 7. and 11. goodbye for another 3 years if they haven't been accomplised by this point..)
    

A further word on frocks. I love frocks. I would wear them exclusively if I had the time and funds to seek them out (and glory be I may well have both come the new year!). Note to self and to anyone who cares to join me - Frock on Friday posts....an excuse to Screen (as opposed to Window) Shop if nothing else.....my frocks, other people's frocks, designer frocks, old frocks and new.....
I also love the designs by Pelle - find them at mioke. Scroll down and select sewing then scroll up and select pelle.
We used to have Frock on Fridays back in the Feral late 90's (feral for me anyway, I can't speak for you) - everyone joined in, even my dog now and then. My taste in frocks has changed since then. Now my frocks need to be clean and in tact but I've always loved a vintage frock especially the 50's and 70's variety.

Until Friday then....

Greener Pastures

Well. What a great week. We sold our house before auction at the right price with a good settlement. Huge relief. And a new government. With Bob Brown at last winning a seat in Senate, by primary vote thanks very much! HUGE relief. I personally feel that only good things can come of that!
We have sorted out the hows and wherefores of moving into our friend's house in January. The timing has been perfect and the move looks to be easy given that we can just store our minimal possessions and move into a gorgeous furnished house. I've never been very good at holding onto things. I get very excited about culling everything down to the basics when there's a move afoot. Probably because I/we have moved so many times in the last 20 years individually and as a couple/family. I had everything I needed at one point just after mum died. I got rid of it all to go off on a feral romp around the country free of material encumbrances and it seems I've been unable to hold fast to such things since. Which is quite amusing given that I have a HUGE fetish for Inside Out magazine and daydream about our own oasis in the country where we live happily ever after. It is time to put down roots. There'll always be the need to get up and go somewhere but I strongly feel the need for home and community and familiarity. And a sense of creativity being expressed through living in and knowing a place intimately. I've accepted that we have realistically given up our chance of owning a house in the city. Which is OK. Happy to rent and even happier to start a life in the country.
K and I really REALLY need to reconnect and save our relationship which has hung together on a thin thread for a year and a half. For the first time ever I've found myself imagining life as a single parent which is how I've mostly felt (trite as that may sound to a single parent). It's easier to imagine no relationship over a dysfunctional one. Our differences are more pronounced than ever and we've become so habituated to managing without each other that I wonder sometimes if it wasn't for the beautiful Beau would we still be together but then it's partly due to the changes brought by parenthood that our relationship has changed so dramatically. Was a time when I would just get up and leave a place or a relationship or a job or whatever, if the joy had gone out of it. I'm pretty good at moving on and starting again. But that gets to be very exhausting, and repetitive. Same shit, different scenario. And motherhood has shown me those parts of self that keep me more connected, like true patience and compassion and determination and forbearance and deep unconditional love . It would be pointless if those things didn't filter out into the rest of life. The wee ones are teaching us how to love and to Stick It Out.
So many photo worthy moments of late. If we could only download the contents of our minds something like Dumbledore's Pensieve. I look forward to buying a camera and putting images with words. I could talk and write all day but jeeze how boring for us all. I love seeing all your pictures - how you all look at the world and what you make and where you live. Soon I will have lots more to share and if all goes accordingly more time for craft and baking and adventures.

Loooooooooooonnnng Day

Oh mama, up since 5am worked, came home to willful child testing every boundary refused afternoon nap which is my saviour we got through it somehow (I don't even drink coffee....maybe I'll start again) K came home we exchanged grunts I felt the need to suck my thumb and go straight to bed had to vacate house while people inspected came home made dinner Beau refused to go to sleep K tried and tried and gave up Beau danced beneath the moon I collapsed on bed Beau came in later grabbed a boob allowed the application of a nappy turned over put his nose on mine and fell asleep. Now I am catharting here with a mouth full of ulcers again preventing me from drowning my sorrows in a cheap glass of wine. Ah me. Just as well I love that little guy more than anything on this earth and beyond. Just as well we love them like that. I did scream into my pillow which gave some relief. It was a scream for the loss of Time To Myself and the shadow of guilt that is always there for the wanting of that time. Motherhood is a large and mysterious and heart opening thing. A mother can withstand an entire day of stuff that will have another person abandoning in minutes. Always at the end the end of such a day I am reminded by Beau himself to let go of the struggle. The more tired and strung out I am the more I struggle and the harder it is. As soon as K gave it up and let Beau frollick in the fading light he was already on his way back to bed. Such is the way.