Love like a mother play like a child.

This morning K, Beau and I went to see Amma.
I don't really have adequate words to convey the experience except to say that I lost myself in the best possible way and felt the ocean of love that Amma radiates, and felt connected to everyone there and spent the morning in tears of bliss which came on each time I looked into another person's eyes. It was very difficult to leave but I reminded myself that we are never separate from the state of the teacher/enlightenment and so have managed to bring at least some of Amma home with me in my heart. I always come away from the presence of such teachers with enormous wonderment and gratitude that they have endless energy for everyone without exception. They just give and give endless love, and not always in ways that we recognise. It inspires me to give more and desire less, even though I slip back into the old habits and think there is a self to protect and satisfy.

I've been really watching Beau's play/child's play this week, more so than usual, maybe because I
am thinking so much about babies.....Children play in pure spontaneity, alone, with each other, with us if we are open to it. Beau is right into being a puppy or a cat lately and has to embody it as much as he can; drink from a bowl off the floor, have 'fur' tied around him, scratch around in the dirt, lay near the fire, come over for a pat and a scratch.



The other day we were at the park and he and 4 other little boys made a hotel out of a huge fallen branch; spent what seemed like hours, reconstructing it and moving in and out of it. I and the other two mothers sat back and talked and watched and helped when we were needed.


Parenthood is such an opportunity to relearn how to be present and free and to love without holding back. I'm counting on, that with all of these amazing teachers around(three year old ones included), there may be hope for me yet! For all of us!

Market, Mudbricks and a mad, mad wind

A lovely Saturday with friends out of town at their beautiful place surrounded by trees. We sat by the fire all day and ate, ate and laughed and turned lights out for Earth Hour at 8pm and continued the same activities by candle light. Good for the soul. Rainbows and kangaroos and cake. We love our little house but oh how we long to be in such a place surrounded by bush. Everything slows down. The colours of the Australian bush are so soft, a calming focus for the eyes. I do love it.

I hope your roofs are in tact. Ours is banging around like tupperware in this mad wind. Climate change eh? Hadn't noticed.....

PS that's Tahli's beautiful pregnant belly not mine. Not this month, though I was absolutely convinced I was. I woke up Sunday morning feeling excited to think there may be a positive test to see. It was still dark and Beau needed a pee and he said sleepily "Mama have you got a broken tummy?" And i stood up to turn the light on and there was a bit of blood on the dyne. Damn they are spooky sometimes aren't they the little empaths! My brother and sister-in-law are on IVF, and just had their second transfer which sadly was not successful. I hope it happens for them soon. I think they are handling it with enormous presence and grace despite the emotional and physical roller coaster that it is.

Frock on Friday with Truck

If I ever find a dress this cute I may never take it off......(courtesy of The Sartorialist)
sunshine and an outing for the boys. . ... Beau and his best buddy C, have this battle in the car for the middle of the back seat. B and I stand on opposite sides of the car attempting to gently separate the two small bodies and in stereo, try every verbal maneuver we can come up with, amidst the screams. Eventually we just laugh. Parenthood!!!@@#$$ Surely it's the fast track to enlightenment! Some of the practices Rinpoche has given us, are very dynamic, similar to Tibetan Buddhist custom; simultaneously voice chanting, hands moving with mudras, visualising, eyes open - all senses engaged, with the intention to stay relaxed and present. Sounds familiar doesn't it!

Today a prayer for the Tibetan people. May all people find presence amidst the chaos.

Can you hear it???

........the earth is humming in pure delight.

What the rain brought;

some hope for the drought victims..

A barrow full of it in fact..

and the promise of more to come..

a queue for indoor hanging space..

one delicate, rug- bound canine who will go for hours without urinating to avoid damp paws..

a morning with three happy little boys and a tub of play dough..

and a very quiet afternoon for mama......aaahhhhhh.

When The Significant Other Is Away....

on a Man Date - things to do;

Gather important items at close handSnuggle up to most beautiful 3 year old boy until he falls asleep.

Engage in some healthy girl talk with Sister-In-Law and Ms BMW via telephone.

Lament the consumption of half a block of (very fine quality) organic mint chocolate.

Research short courses to squeeze in somewhere.

Google 'sore gums, early sign of pregnancy?' and get slightly excited when findings indicate the affirmative (could be, could be!). Did any of you experience this, at say 2 weeks into pregnancy?

Google 'due date' and 'pregnancy calendar' and plunge briefly into Google Goose Chase, regain consciousness and proceed to;

Fold washing.

Contemplate early bed time.

Ignore the above in favour of some knitting in front of the TV (blame it on the chocolate).

Down From The Mountain and One Whole Year

One year of blogging for this gal! It's quite an achievement isn't it. Sometime, around 1999, I lit a fire out back of a house I was sitting in Sunrise near Byron Bay, and slowly and ceremoniously burned every one of the diaries I had kept since 14 years of age. There were 30 of them so it was an all night affair during which I'd catch a glimpse of an entry now and then and read and cry or laugh and bid the event farewell. It was a very cathartic thing to do at the time, especially as I was transient and was literally hauling my past around with me in a small van. I have no regrets but now and then I think it would be fun to read them and have them to show my kids. I suppose this blog will satisfy that to a degree. Keeping a diary has been my sanity. Blogging too though in a different way. A diary is a no-holds-barred, repository of deepest emotion and truth. I never once thought anyone would read them. Never intended it in the moment. Whereas here we are writing and revealing as much for others as ourselves. Much more inclusive. Much more fun. Less therapy!

We have just come Down From The Mountain, from a glorious Easter weekend of 'roughing it' in our super duper new tent and self-inflatable mattresses (slept like well fed babies). Not nearly as many people as the line of cars heading in the same direction threatened. We were to meet friends there but missed each other to the effect that we camped 2 km from each other and had to drive over to visit each other. The family camped opposite us were so gorgeous, our children frolicked together and we played music and talked around the fire at night. And all the other stuff that keeps the soul right and wholesome and connected to all that is important.

The Hilton


The joyousness of being grubby for daysobjects of nature to stare at for long periods of time

The benchmark for future Back Door Step
The locals
The View from the Loo
The physical challenge of a wash in the icy river.

Camping karma yoga
The stuff that calls us there to begin with. Fire and stars and songs.
I love the village atmosphere of camping and the laying down of barriers and borders (as Martino called it 'the United Nations') and usual neighbourly 'politeness' and the freedom to roam and the willingness to share a warm toilet seat and the opportunity to stop everything (except knitting and snacking).

It always feels very strange to be in doors after a camping trip. Nice to be home but the pull to live in the country is much stronger!

Frock on Friday on Thursday

I really like having an excuse to gaze at clothing. Not that one is required, but you know, I should do some dishes or something.....


This is from The Sartorialist.
Great coat. Love the tights. Bring on winter!

This photo I found through Google Images whilst looking for ideas for an outfit to a party. I've always loved that gorgeous doe-eyed 20's look...

Our friend Toby is a fashion designer in Perth and designs and sews wonderful pieces - suits, skirts, jackets, shirts, man-skirts, mostly unisex couture pieces that cross over into art at times. He incorporates screen printing and detachable details. Check out his website which is yet to be expanded www.formallyknownas.com.au.
Toby has always been one of those people who just doesn't see a gulf between an idea and its actualisation. He made a living from street performance before turning to fashion design. He has worked really hard and lives a truly unique, creative life with a damn fine woman I might say who equals him in originality, intellect and silliness (very important in any relationship, silliness). I'm saying all this partly because I know you will at some point possibly read this T and R and you should be reminded of how enormous a breath of fresh air you are for us. I can't keep up with you these days. K has a mighty good go at it though!!

Have a safe and happy easter everyone! We are getting out of town for a few days with a brand new tent, yippee! May it rain down upon us yet (not all weekend though...thanks).